NovelOnlineChapter 0446 " Istay quiet as I watch him take off his coat, then tie, then socks. The rest of his clothes come off, until he’s left in nothing but his boxers. I watch him as he crosses the room and disappears into the bathroom. Seconds later, the shower \ turns on, and I pull my eyes from the door, and focus straight on. Not really seeing anything.
My mind wanders back to Emma.
I got my happy ending, but what about her? Should I even be calling it a happy ending when Rowan was hers in the beginning? Would they have been together had I let go? Would they have been happy? All these questions keep running through my head. All these doubts keep making me question my decision to stay with Rowan. I want everyone happy. I hate knowing that I got my happy ending
| while Emma and Calvin didn’t.
Follow on NovᴇlEnglish.nᴇtMaybe if I'd let go, Emma and Rowan "would have remained together. They would have remained in love. Then Calvin would have moved on and so would I.
Everyone would have gotten their happy | ending.
“Ava, are you okay?” his voice pulls me from my musings.
I'stare up at him to find him in nothing but a towel. It's low on his hips, and that delicious V is visible for me to see. Water droplets run slowly down his chest and abs, and for a second I forget what he had asked me.
This is the effect he had on me. One look at him, and I completely forget everything.
Sighing, I look away from his naked chest. “I'met Emma today, and we spent some time together,”
| When I stare at his eyes, there is nothing at the mention of her name. No regret. No J) longing. No love. There was absolutely nothing. B “And that messed you up?” he comes and sits down beside me.
“Yes” I answer honestly, trying to fight back my tears. “She’s hurting and I can’t help but wonder if things would have been better had I just let go and walked away. Maybe I shouldn’t have come to find you that night. Maybe I should have run away the moment I found out I was pregnant. Maybe I should have fought harder against your decision to marry.” I stand up and start pacing our bedroom.
“Maybe! Maybe! Maybe! All the possibilities keep playing in my head over and over again. I ruined your life. I ruined her life. I ruined Calvin’s life. I just don’t know what to do.” He gets up and grabs me by my upper arm. I try wrenching myself from him,
but he doesn’t let go.
Follow on Novᴇl-Onlinᴇ.cᴏm“You didn’t ruin my life, Ava. You didn’t,” he whispers hoarsely.
I can’t stop the tears that flow down my face. It’s too painful knowing that my | love was the cause of pain for other people.
“Yes, I did. You loved her and I took that away from both of you. You would have been happy had I just let go. Had I been strong enough to move on before I messed things up. Hell, I never should have agreed to the marriage.” His hands move from my shoulder and wrap around my waist, bringing me close to him.
It was a constant battle. Two years later, and I was still fighting with the demons of my past. Two years and I was still trying to heal.
Mia told me not to expect instant healing.
She told me healing takes time, and it isn’t a process that can be rushed. She | said it takes others, even ten, fifteen \ years, to heal. = “I’m glad you agreed to the marriage, | Ava. I’m glad you didn’t let go. I'm | fucking glad you held on for as long as you could because I can’t imagine my life without you. It kills me every day knowing I almost lost you. That the reason you are in my arms is because Ethan messed up and ended up in prison.”
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