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90. Late Realizations.
Rowan.
I stare at the door, wondering what the hell I was doing here. I should give Ava her space,
but fuck it. I can’t seem to stay away from her. I’m drawn to her in a way I can’t fucking
explain.
Knocking, I wait rather impatiently for the door to be opened. A minute later, the door
opens
revealing Noah.
“Dad” he throws himself at him and I catch him. “I thought I would have to wait till
Saturday to
see you”
I hug him close to me. Feeling myself relax and melt. “Hey buddy”
How could I ever have hated Ava? I wonder. She gave me the best gift when she gave
birth to Noah. I should have appreciated her then instead of punishing her. The night I
thought was the
worst night of my life, brought about the best gift I could have gotten.
I didn’t see it then because I had my head so up my ass I couldn’t see straight. My eyes
are opened
now. I see it so fucking clearly. Ava was right. I used to regret that night not realizing that
without
there wouldn’t be Noah and no matter what, I would never regret my son.
that night happening
“Come in. Mom is in the shower. She said she needed to soak her tired, aching bones.” He
informs
1. me. “I’m having my dinner and there is enough. You can have some if you haven’t
eaten dinner
yet”
He leads me into the kitchen. He gets on the stool and resumes eating after pointing to
the food. I
shamelessly take a plate and pile food on it.
I didn’t appreciate it when we were married. Taking the small things for granted. I admit
that I’ve missed her cooking.
“So…Mom is a real catch” Noah begins making, me turn to him.
“Yes” I agree, not really sure where he was going with this.
“A lot of good looking guys want her…just a few days ago there was a man here who’d
come to visit her. I wonder who’ll get her as his wife” he says it so casually, but I see the
smirk he is trying to hide.
“What man?”
415 BONUS
I try to contain the jealousy, but it’s fucking hard. The need to scream that Ava is mine is
intense. “I don’t remember his name, but mom said that he was her new friend” the smirk
is still in place as he say that “He was scary looking but I liked him, now I don’t know who I
like better for mom. Him or Uncle Cal. He had tattoos which Uncle Cal doesn’t and from
what I know women dig tattoos
and abs
Follow on NovᴇlEnglish.nᴇtI glare at him, but he just chuckles
Fuck it. I know he was trying to make me jealous and I should let it go, but I can’t. I have
never
liked my son less than I did at that moment.
“Noah, who was at the door?” her voice comes from the other room, interrupting me
before I can
say anything.
She walks into the kitchen in a robe. Her hair is wet and her face is free from makeup. She
looks so damn beautiful that I can’t put it into words. The robe leaves nothing to the
imagination and I
want nothing but to tear it from her body.
“Rowan? What are you doing here?” she ask, her face changing into an indifference mask.
I hate that too. She used to be so expressive, now I barely know what she’s feeling or
thinking.
“Rowan?” she calls again.
I don’t know what to fucking tell her. How am I supposed to tell her that I missed her? That
I just
wanted to see her.
“I’m out of here. Don’t forget to tell me when you’re leaving, dad” Noah breaks through
the tense
atmosphere.
He doesn’t wait for us to say anything before he flees the room. Within seconds we are left
alone.
“Who is the man Noah was talking about?” I ask standing up and getting close to her.
“What man?” she tries backing away from me, but there is nowhere to go.
“The one among your many suitors” my voice turns hard. I was jealous and pissed off
because I wanted her to my fucking self. (2)
“I don’t know what you’re talking about or what he was talking about.” She sasses. “Could
you just leave? It’s late at night and you shouldn’t be here”
+15 BONUS
“And why is that? Is it so you can entertain one of the many men who Noah seems to think
are interested in becoming your new husband” I growl.
I was pushing it. Pushing her, but I just didn’t care. Not when envy was boiling in my
blood. Or bitterness was clouding my brain cells.
“What is wrong with you? I don’t entertain any man” she whisper–shouts at me.
It doesn’t faze me as I walk closer to her.
Wrapping my hands around her waist, I bring her closer to me. I feel every inch of her
body. Her belly and her breast are pressed close to my chest and abs. I harden when I feel
the hardened
peaks of her breast.
What I felt was more than arousal. It was something else. Something much more potent.
“Get you fucking hands off me” she shrieks but I still don’t let her go. Instead I press
closer to her
while being mindful of her baby bump.
She tries to push me away, but I’m solid. She can’t move me. Not only because I was
stronger than
her, but because I couldn’t pull myself off her even if I’d wanted. She felt perfect in my
arms. I
could stay with her like this forever.
“Not a chance, Ava. Why would I when this is exactly where I want you? You’re mine”
“What the hell are you talking about? I’m not yours. I’ve never been yours. Now let me go
before Noah finds us like this and thinks we are getting back together”
“Noah will be happy. About the other thing, you will always be mine and I won’t let you
whore yourself to other men when you fucking belong to me” 14
Her eyes twitches. Fire burning inside her brown orbs. I don’t see her hand move. The
punch comes as a surprise, so because of the shock I release her. 1
“Whoring myself? First of all, I was a fucking virgin when we slept together for the first
time in case you’ve forgotten. Second, I can fuck whoever I want. I am a free woman and
nothing is holding me back from sleeping with men who actually want me. Men who aren’t
thinking of the love of their fucking life while they’re buried deep inside me” (4
I knew those words were going to come back to bite me in the fucking ass. 3
“Ava…”
+15 BONUS
“No! What the hell do you want Rowan? Because I just don’t get it. You yourself told me
that you slept with me while imagining Emma. You told I was just an object for scratching
an itch. That I would never be the woman you want, so what the hell are you doing here?
Why won’t you leave
me the hell aione?”
There are so many things I want to tell her. To explain to her. The words instead get stuck
in my throat. I don’t know how to express my feelings to her.
“I do want you, Ava. So fucking much” my voice turns soft and it shocks both of us.
“Why now? We were married for nine years. Nine fucking years. How then can you be this-
this”
she struggles to find the right word.
“This what?”
“Interested. How can you all of a sudden be interested in me when you’ve ignored me for
the entire
length of our marriage? It’s just not making any sense.”
She had me there, but how can I explain something that I didn’t understand myself? I
don’t know
where my feelings came from or when they came to be.
“Is it too difficult to accept that I want you?” I ask instead.
“Yes it is! You’ve hated me for so long, so yes, it’s hard to believe that you are now
attracted to me.
It seems so farfetched.”
The words were on the tip on my words. The name of the emotion I’ve been trying to
figure out.
The feeling I have for her.
“Please leave Rowan. You’re just confused. Even if you are attracted to me, it doesn’t
mean
anything.”
“It means something. It means we have something to work with” I insist almost to the
Follow on Novᴇl-Onlinᴇ.cᴏmpoint of begging.
“No it doesn’t. Not when I can still clearly hear your voice in my head telling me that you
were using my body as a substitute for Emma’s”
I want to say more, but I know that she already has enough of me. She was already
drained and I was making things worse for her.
“Okay then, I’ll leave for now. Please just call Noah for me so I can say goodbye”
She nods her head and goes to cell our son Hosh comes back, but Ava doesn’t Ignoring
the
questioning look on his face, 1 tell him good bye before leaving I make sure he’s locked
the door
before driving away
This wasn’t over. Not by a long shot. I wasn’t going to give up on her that easily
It was as I was driving that the realization hit me. I had to pull over so that I don’t get into
an accident as the gravity of everything hit me
My heart almost collapses in itself, as I’m finally able to name the feeling I have for Ava.
The feeling I was too blind to realize what exactly it is.
Love
Fuck. I love Ava. 7
That realizations comes with fear and crashing quilt. I all but destroyed her heart. I fucking
killed
the love she had for me. How the hell was I going to fix that?
I was a dumb shit. I fucking love her, but would she ever believe me or even give me a
chance?
Karma was truly a fucking bitch.
Evelyn M.M
+15 BONUS
Important Notice
Hey loves, I want first of all to thank you for all your continued support. You’ve all been so
amazing with your love for this book. It wouldn’t be where it is without your love and
support.
Thank you for the gemstones, comments and reviews they have come a long way in
helping to
rank this book. With that being said, pretty please vote if you haven’t already and
remember to
leave a review if you’ve come this far with me.
I also want to let you know that I’ll be taking a break this coming week. I’m supposed to
be moving
to a new place and I haven’t done any packing yet. I won’t stay gone long. A maximum of
one week should be enough to finish what I’m required to do and then I’ll be back after
that.
Lastly I want to address the issue of updates. I’ll be updating daily in November except on
the weekends. Because of your insistence, I’ll be alternating between two chapters a day
and one. I h ope that will be enough since my goal is to complete it by December. I don’t
want it dragged out. W ith how tight my schedule is, it’s the best I can do. I hope you can
understand.
That’s all for now. Thanks for your understanding, I’ll be seeing you in a few days. Bye,
take care and stay safe.>
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