Florida Man's General Store in Cultivation World-Novel



Chapter 145 – Florida Man Burnt Alive While Doing TikTok Challenge - Taking a Bath in Active Volcano

Leo walked closer to the mysterious golden tree. He gave it a closer look.

The surface of the golden tree was the same as other sweet dream mushrooms except for its color. It also produced pink mist as it tried to multiply.

Leo rumbled through his pockets and picked up a blank spatial ring. He put his hand on the golden tree and stored it in the dimensional space.

The tree vanished into the ring. However, the pink mist still lingered in the area. Giving it time, they would resurrect sweet dream mushrooms and terrorize this world.

"Hans."

Leo uttered and pointed his index finger at the pink mist.

FWOOSH

A stream of yellow flame came out from Leo's finger, devouring the pink mist in the area. Leo moved his finger around to torch everything to ash.

As Leo kept burning the mist, they faded and vanished. However, he didn't let his guard down as he knew how dangerous they were.

"Hans."

For good measure, Leo sent his Qi into his right foot and stomped it.

BOOM

The ground caved in while the sides got pushed away. Leo created another crater with his stomp, but it had another effect. Everything under him turned into moldy lava as the extreme temperature from the impact and Leo's Qi melted rocks and soil under him.

The blasted town sank into the crimson slime-like liquid. As for Leo, his feet sank into the lava until it reached his knees.

Leo snorted and walked through the lava as if they were regular swamps. He pushed through the heat and got caught on fire once again.

The flame did nothing to Leo's hair, skin, or physique, but it removed his fat and impurity from his pores. Leo enjoyed it as if he took a casual sunbath without relying on sunscreen in his hometown.

The extreme temperature and the lava melted the remnant mushroom spore away. However, the molten liquid slowly moved and gathered in the crater, threatening to bury Leo alive.

Leo noticed the wave of lava coming for him. He sighed and jumped, exiting the lava crater. After leaving the crater, Leo checked on his clothes if they were still there.

Fortunately, the new clothes, made from Leo's skin and Qi were unaffected by the flame and the temperature. Even his sneakers were still intact.

Looking at his jeans and t-shirt, Leo pursed his lips. He was bored of these casual clothes.

'I should pick up those swags from the cloth shop. But having a long beard and long hair looks weird in a black suit. Should I shave a bit?'

Leo stroked his beard. He pondered about the shave, and he let his intrusive thoughts take over for a moment. He made a scissor gesture with his index and middle finger. Then, he snipped half of his long silky beard.

SNIP

Half of the long beard fell into the lava pool below. Then, Leo rubbed his trimmed beard.

Unfortunately, his long white beard instantly regenerated and restored its former glory. Moreover, each string got slightly thicker.

"Hah, I knew it."

Leo shook his head. It was as he had predicted.

After the orange lightning tribulation, his body automatically regenerated lost body parts or healed his wounds. Even when he lost a limb or two, he grew them back. However, there was one flaw – His body remained the same as when he transcended the orange lightning tribulation.

He could not shave or cut his hair anymore. He had to leave them as they were.

Having no choice, Leo thought of tying his hair or braiding his long beard. He thought of ancient Viking portraits on the internet.

'I should change my looks for once. This might be fun since I have to meet that stupid emperor. I need to bait those idiots to attack my store so that I can steal… no, no, no. Many workers are too weak. If they launch their attacks, those guys will die.'

Unwilling to let his free laborers die, Leo came up with a new approach. He snickered while he hopped out of the lava swamp, heading back home.

.

A few minutes after Leo had left the former city of Dragon Mantis, the swamp of lava changed color from red to black. At first, it looked natural – When magma cooled, they turned into obsidians, cinders, pumice, ash, and dust.

However, as it touched Leo's skin directly and received the blessing of his radiation aura, a hidden bacteria in the lava pool mutated. It devoured hot rocks and random material to grow.

As it kept eating, the bacteria multiplied. Soon, they spread everywhere underground and continued consuming lava and random hot minerals.

Unfortunately, the bacteria had a short lifespan. After staying alive for 10 minutes in the molten liquid, they died and returned to the soil. As they kept dying, they kept multiplying to fight against the impending extinction.

One of the surviving mutated bacteria dug deeper into the ground and discovered the buried remains of a badger. It ate some of the rotten meat and multiplied before it died.

The bacteria's descendants instantly inherited its ancestor's good and bad traits. As they were born near the buried corpse of an animal, they preyed on the other bacteria and creatures nearby. The newly evolved bacteria absorbed the DNA of the badger. Then, they returned to the lava.

CRACK

After getting back to the lava pool, the bacteria with badger DNA got in touch with a remnant of Leo's DNA. They evolved again and began forming a physical body, using the badger's DNA as a base.

12 hours after Leo had left, a small badger emerged from the lava pool. Using Leo's quick generation ability, it mimicked the dead badger's physique and created a new body for itself to survive. However, it quickly died from the excessive evolution.

More bacteria ate the dead lava badger and learned from its DNA structure. They tried to copy him and evolved as well.

More creatures emerged. Some died instantly after the evolution, but a few managed to survive a few minutes. A trial and error process continued as the newly evolved bacteria experimented with their true potential.

Soon, a new terrifying monster would be born in the Dragon Mantis City.

.

.

Meanwhile, Leo returned home. When he arrived, he discovered the terrible condition of his domain. The northern area of his domain was safe, but it was impossible to expand northward anymore due to the large slope of a crater.

Leo stood at the edge of the crater and scratched his head.

'It didn't want to do this. Oh, boy. There goes the northern highway.'

After shaking his head, Leo walked back to his store as he planned to take it easy for the rest of the day.

While walking back, Hua Jiashan, Dongfang Mei, and other elders rushed to see him in panic, especially the sword sect master.

"My lord! I heard you went into the mysterious pink mist! Was it a sweet dream mushroom?!"

Leo shrugged, "Yeah, it's the mushrooms."

"!!!"

Everybody's face was as white as a sheet. They froze for a few seconds before they knelt.

"P-Please protect us, Lord Florida Man! None of us can remove or repel the sweet dream mushrooms and the Jiangshis. Only you can save us all! We don't want our entire continent to perish!"

Leo rolled his eyes as these guys overreacted, "Meh. Don't worry about that. I've already burnt everything to ash earlier. Don't you see the carnage I left behind?"

He pointed at the crater at the north and the white smoke at a distance. The sky over there was dark as the ash from the magma blocked the sunlight.

Hua Jiashan's eyes glittered. He looked up and brightly smiled, "Really?!"

"Yup. I nuked them all."

"YES! THANK YOU, MY LORD!"

Hua Jiashan squealed and shouted like a madman. He even kissed Leo's sneakers.

Leo grumbled, "The show is over. Go back to work. My clothes are still on fire, and you idiot still kiss my dirty shoes? Are you nuts?"

"…"

Upon being reminded that Leo's clothes were on fire, the elders finally noticed it. At first, they thought the flame was his aura, so they didn't pay attention to it.

Leo scoffed and patted the fire off his t-shirt and jeans. He shooed the crowd away.

"Scram! Get back to work! This ain't a show!"

"Y-Yes, my lord!"

Everybody dispersed in a panic. Still, they secretly laughed as they were happy with how Leo treated his subordinates. After all, Leo was never arrogant or overbearing like other clan lords or sect masters. He might use his paper fans to smack some sense into them, but he never harmed or bullied his men.

After the crowd went away, Leo finally got the time to rest. But instead of heading to his bedroom, he took an elevator to the mystic realm platform.

Getting on the platform, Leo walked toward the black-winged angel statue. He rubbed the spatial ring that stored the golden mushroom tree earlier and snapped a twig from it. Then, he brought it out.

"Meowmeow, do you know what it is?"

Leo named the angel statue "Meowmeow" out of spite. As the statue had too many beautiful concubines around him, Leo always hated the guy. Still, he was the most knowledgeable servant among the four statues.

The angel's eyes glowed in green as it was awakened from Leo's words. He gazed at the golden twig and smirked.

'That is a twig of the world tree, master.'

"A world tree? Are you serious? This came from sweet dream mushrooms!"

'Sweet Dream Mushrooms are the origin of world trees, master. Every demon realm has one. I'm surprised that you managed to find one here.'

Leo frowned. He had doubts.

"How did you know that? Aren't you supposed to be my shadow? I don't even know jackshit about this crap, but you seem to know everything."

'I was born from your entity fate crystal and your dao. Obviously, I got my knowledge from the fate crystal that existed long before you were born, master.'

"Entity Fate Crystal again…"

Leo deeply sighed. The statues already explained to him what it was for, and he still couldn't believe it.

"I feel like I'm in the Matrix."

'Not for long, master. You should upgrade your store to level 10. Then, the fun part will begin.'

Leo deeply sighed as he was depressed. He already figured out what would happen in the next upgrade, and he was not ready for the massive changes. He put this matter to the back of his head.

"Anyway," Leo changed the subject. "What can I do with this?"

'World Tree's twig is a valuable material for a weapon or alchemy. Instead of asking me, you should research it with the system you have.'

"But those guys down there will make a ruckus if they know that I'm keeping an evolved sweet dream mushroom."

'It's fine, master. In fact, you have a subordinate who can suppress the world tree completely and tame it.'

"Who?"

'Your girlfriend.'

Leo rolled his eyes, "I don't have a girlfriend, fool."

'You do now.'

Meowmeow smirked while his concubines giggled.

Again, Leo deeply frowned as he didn't understand Meowmeow. He snorted and stored the twig back in his spatial ring.

When Leo turned around, he found a person behind him.

She was a pretty girl in her teens. Her iconic blond hair curled into two small drills, hanging by the side of her pointy ears. Her small lips and glossy skin looked alive as if she was a human. In addition, her green parasite eyes were brighter than a torch as they assimilated with her virgin yin Qi.

Esen looked like a high-elf aristocrat from a Japanese anime!

Leo stared at the new look of Esen, the lich empress. He sized her up and whistled.

"Heya, brat. Aren't you a looker yourself?"

Esen rested one hand on her hips while the other hand covered her mouth. She smirked, "Ohohoho! How do you like my new appearance? Are you falling for the new me?"

Leo glanced down and stared at her chest. Then, he grinned and snorted, "Grow some milker first, and we'll talk."

"…"

Esen flinched. She glanced at her chest. Although Esen managed to grow taller and bigger, her chest was still as flat as a board.

"MUKIIIIIII!!"

Being humiliated, Esen's face reddened. Out of anger, she threw a punch at Leo's face.

POW

Instead of hurting him, Esen hurt her fist.

"OW! DAMMIT, GEEZER! What the hell is wrong with you?!"

"That's my question, brat. Who asked you to punch me?"

"…"

Esen's eyes got teary as she failed to get back on Leo once again. She stomped away and jumped off from the platform.

A few seconds later, Leo heard a loud commotion below and a scream from Gao Yan. It seemed that Esen took her anger on the poor guy.

Leo snickered and shook his head. He looked back at Meowmeow.

"Her? My girlfriend?"

The angel shrugged, 'You suit each other.'

"Not in a million years, dumbass. She's not my type. I want MILF, not a snotty brat!"

Meowmeow widely grinned as if he was looking forward to seeing Leo's reaction in the future. However, he kept the secret to himself.

'You'll see, master. My prediction is never wrong.'

"Sure. Sure."

Leo jumped off the platform and descended toward the alchemy workshop. He had some work to do regarding the sweet dream mushrooms and the world tree.