Florida Man's General Store in Cultivation World-Novel

Chapter 204 Florida Man Created Realistic Wax Doll of His Dream Girl to Grope Her Breasts. The Doll Was Haunted, but Florida Man Happily Exorcised It on His Bed.

Chapter 204 – Florida Man Created Realistic Wax Doll of His Dream Girl to Grope Her Breasts. The Doll Was Haunted, but Florida Man Happily Exorcised It on His Bed.

"Now, then."

Leo grabbed the gnosis crystal. It instantly vanished into his body. No dao avatar appeared. Instead, the system confused him.

<Congratulations. You have digested the Gnosis of Pocket Dimension!>

<A new feature has been unlocked. You may explore the pocket dimension inside you.>

"Huh? Oh, okay?"

Although Leo was confused, he checked his system menu to see a new feature. However, he was left disappointed. No new feature showed up in his system menu.

"Where the hell is that new mode? System, is this an April's fool joke?!"

The system didn't respond.

"Tsk."

Since Leo got no answer from the system, he turned his attention to his alien ring. He rubbed it as if he wished to summon the Genie of the Lamp. 

"Come out, my dude. I need help."

WHOOSH

Black smoke came out from the alien ring and condensed into a dao avatar. The spirit furrowed his brow and stared at Leo as he was annoyed.

"My name is Leonardo. Please don't forget that, master."

"Obviously, I never forget that name. That WAS my name, you thief!"

"Of course. After all, I'm your shadow in the past."

The spirit's appearance changed. He transformed into a brown-haired Caucasian man who seemed to be in his 20s. He had wide shoulders and a refined physique, including 6 abs. His defined jawlines and facial hair resembled Chad memes on the internet.

Looking at his old appearance, Leo let out a long sigh. In the past, he thought he was perfect. But living in isolation for 50,000 years, Leo learned that appearance was a piece of useless illusion for people to admire. What mattered the most was his absolute strength, flexibility, and survival skills.

"I hate your look." Leo laughed at Leonardo.

Leonardo rolled his eyes. "Just get to the point. Oh, wait. Never mind. I know what you'll be asking me. The answer is your dantian."

"My dantian?"

"A dantian is a core of every mortal in this universe. Every humanoid creature has three. Every mammal monster has three to four. The locations vary, depending on each species. As for us, our dantians are located in our brain, our heart, and our navel."

"Navel? Is it in my belly button? Somewhere around my bladder? Is it IN THE BLADDERS?" Leo looked at his stomach and unbuttoned his shirt. He scratched his belly and peeled a layer of dead skin. While he was at it, he squeezed his navel to check if he had any stone inside. Fortunately, his skin was healthy as his cancer cells took care of foreign substances for him.

"Stop imagining stupid things, master. Of course not, the lower dantian IS NOT in the bladders. We don't keep our energy source in the pee stomach!"

"Oh, what a relief." Leo laughed.

"Anyway," Leonardo coughed. "It's usually hiding between our intestines. In our case, it's attached to the lower stomach like a tumor... It's a very healthy tumor to have, by the way. Don't try to cut open your stomach to see it."

"…I didn't say anything." Leo was disappointed that his spirit said it first. He was planning to slice his stomach open to check what it looked like.

Leonardo's expression turned dark as he knew what Leo was thinking. He changed the subject.

"The dantian usually absorbs Qi that you digest in your stomach. Then, it channels the energy through your meridians to your heart and brain. Well, you have been doing it naturally since day one, so I don't need to explain further."

"…I still don't know how I do it, though."

"You can't explain when and how you learn to breathe, right?"

"Right. Is it the same thing as how we automatically learn how to admire round and firm boobas?"

"…That's not it, master."

Leonardo had a headache as Leo was too childish. He couldn't blame him since his master got tazzed by countless red and black tribulation lightning bolts in the past. He might have become silly and childish because of that.

.

.

It took Leonardo 30 minutes to explain how the three dantians functioned as a whole because Leo kept interrupting him with stupid jokes. After the lecture finished, Leonardo returned to Leo's alien ring to rest.

Leo was proud of his shadow of the past. He didn't have a shred of doubt as to why Leonardo was smarter than him.

Putting the new knowledge to a test, Leo closed his eyes and sank his consciousness into his pocket dimension, aka the dantian dimension!

.

.

When Leo opened his eyes, he discovered an endless grassland to the west while a raging rainbow sea was located to the east. On the north, a lone laboratory capsule tube full of black liquid stood there.

To the south, there was a wooden desk with a photo frame. It was a picture of a family of four, but their faces were blurry. A trace of black ink remained on their faces as if someone painted them to cover their eyes.

The two adults in the photo were his parents. A young boy in front of the father was Leo. As for the other guy, Leo forgot about him.

He couldn't even remember his face or his name, let alone his existence.

Leo frowned at the photo. He still recognized the family, but he couldn't recall their faces.

Looking at the photo ruined his mood. He was reminded of an unpleasant memory when he was a human. Thus, he walked toward the desk and grabbed the photo. Then, he put the face of the photo down to cover it.

"My day is ruined. Who the hell put it here?! Who's mocking me?!"

Leo looked around, but he found nobody. Only he and his naked butt were alone in this place.

Realizing that he was naked, Leo realized that he was not in the real world. He pondered for a moment before he figured out why the picture was here.

"This place… is my world?"

According to Leonardo's lecture, this place contained a fragment of Leo's soul and memory. It also reflected the owner's life, character, past, and aspirations.

Unfortunately, Leo only found the test tube that he got his second life and the working desk of his father.

The old memory distracted Leo enough. He stopped looking at the things and focused on what he could do here. He walked toward the sea.

The rainbow sea contained all of his elemental essences in the dantian. Leo stepped onto the white beach and slowly walked on the surface of the sea.

The raging sea's waves suddenly ceased. The water became as still as a silent lake.

With every step Leo walked past, a rainbow lotus flower emerged and bloomed. By the time Leo realized it, Leo walked a hundred steps and created a hundred rainbow lotus flowers in his elemental essence sea.

"Oh, dear. Sea pollution gets the best of me. Anyway, flowers won't hurt."

Leo jumped off the sea and flew east, inspecting the endless sea's boundary.

After 10 minutes of flying at the speed of sound, Leo still couldn't find the end of the sea or another continent. He stopped and landed on top of the seawater.

"What do I do here? What's the point of this place?"

While Leo pondered what to do next, he recalled that he got the mysterious new system feature from the gnosis. Thus, he tried to summon a system menu.

DING

Strangely, it worked. However, the system menu wasn't the same as the lifespan system he had.

An annoying rainbow system screen was so dazzling that Leo couldn't see the screen clearly. He was forced to narrow his eyes to read the texts.

.

Pocket Dantian Menu

- Combat Simulation

- Dantian Universe Management

- Lifeform Management

- Time Ratio Settings

- Energy Expenditure Settings

.

"Hoh?"

The new features interested Leo. As the system never provided Leo with a tutorial or explanation, he blindly pressed the combat simulation mode to test the water.

DING

<Please choose a fighter.>

Another menu appeared. This time, it showed a list of other people's statuses and portraits.

The status menu revealed all their details – Age, race, cultivation strength, skills, special abilities, favorite weaponry, and potential percentage.

The screen was also strange. Under the potential percentage panel, there was a slider. Leo could adjust the potential value of the status menu.

"What does this do?"

Leo scrolled through the list of people and found Esen among them. Curious, Leo checked her details.

.

Name: Esen Sydin IV

Race: High Elf

Age: 10,007

Cultivation Base: Celestial Emperor

Skills: Dao of Necromancy, Dark Magic, Soul Domain of Undead Army

Specials: Virgin Yin Blood, Divine Elf Bloodline

Favorite Weaponry: Nameless Breech-Loader Rifle

Potential Percentage: 75%

.

Seeing the potential percentage of Esen, Leo laughed at her. He moved the slider bar to the rightmost, increasing her potential to 1,000% for a laugh.

But as soon as he did, her status changed.

.

Name: Esen Sydin IV, the Overlord of Death Elf

Race: Death Elf

Age: 10,007

Cultivation Base: 12-Galaxy Entity

Skills: Providence of Necromancy, Death Magic, Mandate of Destruction, Mandate of Death Legion

Specials: Virgin Yin Blood, Divine Elf Bloodline

Favorite Weaponry: Staff of Corrupted Divine Elf

Potential Percentage: 1,000%

.

Leo was speechless. He realized what the slider bar was for.

"Is this the difficulty adjustment setting? Wow, this stupid wench is… quite sexy."

The final form of Esen drastically changed. Instead of being a graceful elf, she became a dark elf. Moreover, her chest was round and bouncy, unlike the flat version.

Strangely, Esen's hair became white, and her eyes were pitch black. The display portrait screen showed her rainbow aura, similar to Leo's.

Although Leo was wary of her skills, his finger pressed the [Summon] button to call her to this world.

DING

A shadow of Esen manifested in front of Leo. She appeared with a set of black skull armor and a long gem staff. Despite wearing heavy armor, her gear showed a lot of legs and cleavage.

The shadow of Esen glared at Leo and raised her staff. Before Leo could utter a word, something entered Leo's chest.

"…"

His heart clenched slightly. Leo felt like his heart stopped beating.

He shrugged and faced Esen's shadow. He understood what this mode was for.

"I see. So, this mode exists to train me. I can fight anybody I want in my consciousness? Is that why it is called a simulation? Neat… but pointless."

Leo snorted and dashed toward Esen. The latter backed away and raised her staff again. This time, a million death knights with the aura of entities emerged from the sea.

Leo ignored the emerging legion of death knights. He threw a punch at Esen's face.

Esen vanished as she blinked to avoid the punch. However, Leo predicted her movements and reached out his hand to grab her neck.

Unfortunately, Leo miscalculated the distance. He grabbed her chest instead.

"…"

"…"

Leo widely grinned. He loved the feeling.

"Well, you're not real, so this doesn't count as molesting, right?"

"…"

The shadow's eyes emitted dark flame as if she were angry. She opened her mouth and screamed.

Leo shuddered as his cancer cells trembled. A few cells exploded and died, but they self-resurrected instantly.

"Err…"

Leo was confused about how this fight worked. As he was just a consciousness, he still felt that his cancer cells were slightly damaged from this attack.

Since Esen started threatening his life, Leo got serious. He stopped molesting the girl and threw a punch to her chest.

BOOM

Before the death knights could join the battle, Esen's body exploded and shattered to pieces. Then, all death knights disappeared.

The system informed him of his victory, but a strange development followed.

DING

<You have defeated a shadow fighter of the highest difficulty!>

<Defeat the same fighter 999 more times, and you can learn one of her skills.>

"…Huh?"

.

.

Meanwhile, Esen and her subordinates still kept their distance from the mountain. They looked up and continued to track Leo's life signature.

He was still alive. Everybody was relieved.

But suddenly, Esen sensed a tingling feeling on her right chest. She felt like someone just touched it.

Her face reddened, but she pretended that nothing had happened.

'W-What happened to me? W-Who touched me?!'

There was a pricking feeling in her chest afterward, but it only jolted her. However, that previous touch was too memorable as it felt like Leo's rough hands.