SSS-Class Suicide Hunter

I blinked my eyes.

“Are you saying you came here 300 years early?”

“That’s right, junior…”

The person, with their face hidden under a hood, nodded their head slowly, bowing it repeatedly. Suddenly, I had become the junior, and they had become the senior, but I wasn’t particularly bothered by that.

What caught my attention more was what the hooded man said.

‘Whether it’s Musical Heaven or Golden Heaven, everyone who comes here forgets their previous life. The fact that he guessed I was a challenger means there’s a high chance this person really is a hunter.’

Didn’t [The Wand Of Ages] say? Unless recognized by judgment, one would remain on the stage like a ghost forever.

Perhaps the hooded man in front of me is a challenger who has failed to complete his quest for 300 years.

“I am a failure…”

The hooded man spoke haltingly.

“Trapped here, unable to go this way or that, just wasting my days away. It’s fine for me to consider my life over, but junior, I wish to prevent other challengers from ending up like me…”

How about it, the hooded man’s voice rose.

“Won’t you listen to my advice? My worthless life story… Even if it’s just the ramblings of a failure, if it can help you…”

“No, no. How can you say such a thing. I would be glad to listen to your story.”

“Hehehe. Such a kind-hearted junior you are. Then, if you buy me just one apple-orange, I would gladly help with your future.”

The hooded man curled his finger.

[A trade request has been made to you.]

Then a message came.

[Do you wish to purchase the product offered by the other party for one apple-orange?]

It seemed very easy.

I went to a street vendor and bought a fruit that was half apple and half orange mixed together. Half meant exactly 50:50. The left side was apple, and the right side was orange. What is this?

“Come on over! Oh, young man, you look quite handsome!”

The street vendor, thinking I was an easy sucker, greedily suggested 3 golds. It was a clear rip-off.

But I had plenty of gold coins in my pocket. Thinking of it as an investment to hear the advice of a senior 300 years ahead, it didn’t seem too wasteful.

[The haggling has ended.]

[The other party is satisfied with this trade.]

[You are satisfied with this trade.]

[Both parties are satisfied with the trade!]

Simple.

[‘The Eye Living in the Labyrinth’ carefully reveals that the fruit vendor treats you as a top sucker among suckers….]

I knew it but just wanted to get it over with quickly!

“Here it is, senior.”

“Oh my, such a kind-hearted junior I have…”

I quickly handed over the apple-orange to the hooded man. The hooded man took the fruit with trembling hands.

[The trade is completed.]

[The haggling has ended.]

It was at that moment.

“Yaho!”

The hooded man stood up abruptly. Then, as if his hands had never been trembling, he quickly took off his hood with a very hearty gesture. The sudden change was so abrupt that I instinctively stepped back.

“What, what is this?”

“What do you mean what! I’m a fisherman from the port city of Laventa who has caught you hook, line, and sinker! Just by looking at your face, I could tell you were crying out ‘easy sucker,’ so I cast a line, and lo and behold, a big catch! Hahahaha! This delicious, in-season fruit is mine to enjoy, young man!”

The hooded man, now hoodless, gobbled up the apple-orange greedily.

“Ah! It tastes like honey! The joy of exploiting the kind and innocent, isn’t this the real gourmet of the sea and mountains!”

“…….”

I was dumbfounded.

“Wait a minute. You said you were a challenger. How could you pull off this ‘challenger and such’ act while being a local here?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. I just recited the repertoire of an easy sucker who was stripped bare by me a long time ago. Was it 300 years ago? Really, occasionally, kids who fall for such nonsense appear right where you’re standing.”

“This is insane…?”

“That’s the expression I wanted to see!”

Overdramatic sound effects rang in my head, thud thud.

[The other party is very satisfied with this trade.]

[You are very dissatisfied with this trade.]

[You have suffered a loss!]

It was right after the message rang out.

“Huh? Uh?”

An enormous sense of hunger overwhelmed me. It was an ambush-like hunger that I had never experienced before, even though I had starved plenty while practicing the Infernal Heavens Demonic Art. This was the first time hunger had struck me so suddenly.

“W-wait. What in the world is this?”

“Mmm, deliciousss…”

Opposite to me, the hooded man’s face was shining brightly.

“I’ve eaten well. Don’t be too disappointed, junior. Thanks to me, you’ve gained a valuable lesson, haven’t you? To think, I’ve taught you such a life lesson with just one apple-orange, oh dear, I’m too considerate for my own good… How am I to survive in this harsh world being born so kind…”

“Hey.”

The expression on the hooded man’s face had a devastating impact. Even I, who had become somewhat impervious to anger, felt a surge of fury upon seeing that face.

[You are even more dissatisfied with this trade.]

[The other party gains even more satisfaction from this trade!]

[You have suffered another loss!]

Soon, I realized that even this anger was being calculated by the other party.

“Oh, good. Great! Excellent. It’s like having a premium two-legged pig steak melting in my mouth! A real gourmet spot, young man. You were a gourmet spot…”

The other party slowly exclaimed as if savoring a dish.

“Thinking about how many tigers in the city will now rush to you knowing you’re a gourmet spot, it’s such a waste. It’s a taste I wanted to enjoy all by myself.”

I was doing my best to contain my anger. The Golden Heaven. I finally understood the meaning behind the rule that everything revolves around bargaining here. Spewing more anger would only lead to more loss for me.

“But, that’s how it is…”

The hooded man laughed, putting his hood back on, and turned his back with an angle that seemed to hoard all the coolness in the world.

“To monopolize something so precious… I am too noble of a being for that…”

“…….”

“Adieu.”

The hooded man walked away.

Like a gunman exiting a Western movie.

“…………….”

And something in my mind just snapped. I swear, if seeing that didn’t make your blood boil, you weren’t human but a walking corpse.

[You are even more dissatisfied with this trade.]

[The other party gains even more satisfaction from this trade!]

[You have suffered yet another loss!]

Damn it.

[‘The Eye Living in the Labyrinth’ comments that the other party considers you the biggest sucker in the universe…]

Shut it. Kritz.

[‘Goddess of Protection’ looks at you with very pitiful eyes.]

Where are your eyes, huh? Aren’t you a sword?

[‘A Music Box Only for You’ remains silent, just looking at you with a compassionate heart.]

Even you, Fox.

– Puhahahahahahah! Puhuhuhukkeukheuheuheuk! I’m dying! I’m dead! Kim Zombie, this kid’s gonna kill the Sword Emperor! Oh my, folks! The Sword Emperor who conquered up to the 99th floor is about to die because of this bastard!!

You… let’s just not talk. No. Please stop talking. Could you please? Please.

“That young man is a sucker.”

Whisper whisper.

“Heard he’s an amazing gourmet spot?”

Murmur murmur.

It wasn’t just the Constellations looking at me. Street vendors were openly staring, whispering amongst themselves. To describe their gaze, it was like that of a cub that hasn’t eaten for three days suddenly spotting a bamboo leaf. How do I know what a cub’s gaze looks like, well… could you just leave me alone for a bit?

“Hey there, young man, young maan! Remember me? I’m the one who sold you the apple-orange earlier. Young man, let’s make a deal just one more time! Haven’t we already established a solid trust between seller and buyer?”

“Try this sweet potato grape wine! Not more, not less, just take one sip! I’ll keep pouring you sweet potato grape wine until you can’t take any more, introducing you to a whole new world!”

“Dukdok pig barbecue.”

The vendors swarmed in. Their eyes gleamed eagerly. It was like waves crashing against the shore, relentless, with the second and third waves following, creating a terribly frustrating situation where the only option seemed to be getting worn down.

“Just one bite…”

“A delicacy…”

“Dukdok pig. Give it a try.”

What more could I possibly do in this situation?

“Okay.”

Time to run.

“Ah, the delicacy is escaping!”

I injected aura into my soles and took off using lightness skill, clutching my stomach with my left hand. An almost insane hunger panged at my stomach, prodding it relentlessly.

“Chase him!”

“Catch him!”

“How often do we get a sucker like this, and you think we’d let him go!”

Consequently, I had no choice but to run, twisting my body and bending at the waist.

If my master were to see me now, she’d probably cry tears of blood, thinking, ‘I’ve never seen such a pathetic display of lightness skill…’

“I’m so hungry, ugh. So hungry…”

Of course, I managed to escape.

No matter how hungry I was, I hadn’t fallen so low that I couldn’t escape from a pack of enraged pandas.

In a dark alley.

“I’m so hungry… What kind of insane hunger is this…?”

I staggered along, recreating the opening scene of a classic film. I was like a poor kid wandering the alleyways. The problem was that at least that kid had trash bins to rummage through for food, but here, there was nothing of the sort.

What would have happened if I hadn’t learned the Sword of Starvation from the Infernal Heavens Demonic Art?

Would I have gone mad by now?

The level of hunger that no ordinary hunter could endure tortured me. Seriously, if it wasn’t for me, I would have flipped my eyes, turned my stomach inside out, fallen to the ground, and then danced the maggot dance long ago.

“Gong-ja.”

That’s when Bae Hu-ryeong spoke to me.

“Yes…?”

“I have something I really want to say to you.”

I looked at Bae Hu-ryeong with difficulty. Bae Hu-ryeong looked down at me with a seriously earnest expression, as if he was about to impart something incredibly important.

And then Bae Hu-ryeong said,

-Adieu.

“…….”

-Hahahahahahaha!

Right.

Okay.

So that’s how it is.

“Understood……”

I slowly straightened my hunched back and stood up straight. The severe hunger made the scenery before my eyes flicker in monochrome, but for some reason, my mind was frighteningly clear.

“If the world treats me this way, then I have no choice…”

-Huh? What? What’s the delicacy mumbling about?

“You’re all dead.”

Come to think of it, the reason my mind felt so clear was probably because my fuse had blown.

When a blackout occurs, everything naturally becomes quiet.

– Uh…

Bae Hu-ryeong’s expression changed upon seeing my face.

– Zombie? Hey, Kim Gong-ja-ssi? Hellooo. Can you hear me?

“Yes. I can hear you perfectly well, like a 1080p HD video. Sword Emperor~nim. Do you have something you want to say to me?”

– …….

Bae Hu-ryeong slowly backed away.

– I just said adieu. I did nothing wrong.

[‘Goddess of Protection’ claims she did absolutely nothing wrong!]

[‘A Music Box Only for You’ reminds that it was innocent from the start.]

[‘The Eye Living in the Labyrinth’ argues that it merely spoke the truth….]

I drew the holy sword and gripped it tightly in my right hand.

“Why are you all acting like that? I’m not angry.”

– …….

“I just had this thought…. Shouldn’t one not play with a person’s hunger? Because that’s rude. It’s not polite… This city really lacks manners.”

I smiled brightly.

“Let’s give some lesson in etiquette before we leave.”

Golden Heaven, blonde, whatever, it doesn’t matter—let’s start with sorting out this port city.

*****

ED: That’s all for today

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