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Griffin was right, | knew | was not coping well with all that had happened to me. It has been too much, but | just needed to go on.
Or | thought | had to, but today showed| needed to take more breaks. Take better care of myself and unfortunately, it meant |
needed to therapy again. It's not like | mind therapy, it is just so time-consuming, Not just the sessions but everything but the
aftermath too.
T
go to
| needed to do better though, for myself, for Griffin, and for our pup. Whether | am pregnant or not. Because if not now then I will
be soon. And | want my pup to have a stable, happy mother. No longer held back by issues from the past.
“No, you're right baby, | will set up an appointment tomorrow so | can get back to regular therapy,” I tell Griff, and | mean it.
But not | just want to eat the delicious meal Griffin madeand then go to bed and sleep. | feel so emotionally drained right
now. And it's makingfeel tired.
The next morning when | woke up | felt nauseous, Griffin is getting all excited. Thinking it is a sign that | really am pregnant. | feel
it might be, because | am so nervous about setting up the therapy appointment. As.
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much as | know I need to go, as much as | was genuine with Griffin yesterday. It is still daunting...
But it is nice to see that if | get morning sickness Griffin will be as sweet and caring as | expected him to be. And | am happy | still
get to drink my morning coffee in bed, without being sick. Today is the last calm day | have before my education truly kicks off
tomorrow. Even the weekends will not be completely free of training. Isabella did keep our desire to spend the weekends
together not working in her mind. She did make sure that in the weekends much like yesterday and today it's just sreading.
Today though | needed to figure out if Griffin and | would plead Lizzy and her family’s case to Rodrick and Isabelle, if they
agreed. Which they most likely will, we need to introduce them to the rest of the pack so it could be put to a vote.
Yesterday, | tried reading the parts Isabella toldto read. But my mind. had been elsewhere, after re-reading the sline
until | fell asleep yesterday. | decided not to try anymore and just go to bed. So not only do | have to look at the situation with
Lizzy. | needed to catch up on reading, and | needed to finally find a Gemma. Krystel is going to be an amazing Beta, she
already is even before she officially is. Like Gerald and Dillion are to Griffin. We are both lucky to have them because we
wouldn't be able to get everything done without them. That's one of the reasons why | need to find a Beta.
If been getting to know the pack members a lot better, still to appoint someone as your Gemma you either need to be really close
to them. This isn’t possible foryet, not with only knowing the pack members for a few months and only being a pack member
officially for a few days. The
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other option was to bring your own Beta from your old pack. Not only did | not grow up in the White Oak pack, the pack that was
my old pack when | beca Silver Moon pack member. | wanted my Beta and Gemma to be part of the Silver Moon pack
when | chose them. Not after | did so, | wanted to show | was so much a part ofthe pack that | did not need to get my
assistants—from another pack. The only exception would have been Jessa, but she was never an option. Leavingwith only
one last option, having interviews to see who wants to be my Gemma. And then pick the one | had the most click with or the
most trust in to be my Gemma.
“Princess Ayla, there are five more candidates,” Krystel told me, it still felt weird to hear her addressby my formal title. She
had too with so many wolves overhearing our conversation.
When it is just the two of us, even when it is work-related she callsAyla. That's something | hope to achieve with my Gemma
too. | want- them to not just be my assistant. | want to becfriends too. All the Beta’s and Gemma'’s | have ever seen were
friends of their Alpha or Luna. To me, that makes perfect sense, after all, you need to blindly trust your Beta and Gemma.
“Sent the next one in Krystel,” | told my sister-in-law.
So far all the candidates had been she-wolves, | suspected they would be. Even if | had made it clear anyone regardless of
anger and gender could apply for the job. Sure, someone around my own age, around Griffin and the others would make the
most sense. But | was not going
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to exclude anyone before ever talking to them.
Not only was every applicant so far a she—wolf, they were all about the sage as | was. | was okay with that, even without
excluding them | had sdoubts if a person much older would fit in with the rest of us That wouldn't matter too much in regard
to work. It would make becoming friends and doing things in a group a lot harder. | figured the swould go for someone who
was much younger than us.
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But when Dean, a nineteen—year—old wolf | had spoken with a handful of times, walked into my office something immediately felt
right.
“TellDean, why do you want to be my Gemma?‘ | asked the first question | had asked everyone. It was the only question |
had written down, that first question was supposed to start a conversation, If t someone couldn't just carefree chat withif
there was a job to be done. Even if the job was doing a job interview then it would not be a good fit.
Dean straightened his back like he was more than ready to givean answer. He didn’t have the chance to answerthough.
Suddenly there was a lot of commotion in the hallway, followed by the door slamming open. | turned to the door opening to find
Cynthia standing there. Arms crossed, eyes dark, she remindedof Hannah and it scaredmore than it should..
“How dare you hold Gemma interviews when you will never be the Luna of this pack.” She shouted at me, just as Krystel came
skidding to a halt.
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Apologizing that she just went to get a bottle of water from her office.
She tried to pull Cynthia out of the room but the latter was too quick. | was unsure of what to do, no matter how rude this was. It
still wasn’t something, going against the pack rules. | could always ask the guards to escort her out of my office. But | was scared
how that would cacross to the rest of the pack members. | froze to the spot as Cynthia cstorming up to me.
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